Renewable Resources

Anxiety is defined as an earnest but tense desire, 
But I know better.
Anxiety is momentum.
Both an invisible force that drives you to great things,
And a palpable drive that forces you to invisibility.

Anxiety is thought gravity,
An unrestrained force of nature trapped between two ears.
It puts a supernova's weight onto a singular thought;
All other thoughts roll towards your new obsession
Adding weight,  increasing gravity, maximizing the pull.

Anxiety is a compulsion.
You strain against it to distract and beguile your mind
For a moment of peace in your own skin,
But it eventually culls your creativity and sensibility,
Browbeating once sane thoughts into the mass of fears.

Serious Lack of Motivation

The house is under construction and my life is upside down.  I'm a little butterfly in her cocoon waiting for the right moment to say "STEP ASIDE BITCHES MY TIME HAS COME".  But it's not now, not yet.  

So I'm lacking any serious motivation to do anything.  I'm waiting for my first choice college to send me an acceptance letter (rejection is not an option!!).  This is called visualization for all you newbs, you may also know it by its other name "delusional".  Also, I don't really have any hobbies and kinda havent in the last year (last semester ate everything that was extracurricular).  I lost two cats in five months (I'm a witch and they were my familiars).  So I'm feeling uninspired, unmotivated and not very magical.  So that's why I haven't written anything.  I've been taking an oral interpretation of lit class at school and it's been fun to perform other people's writing.  I've also been painting at least once a week with my watercolor pencils.  So I'm not completely uncreative.  

Mostly the little motivation I do have is prioritized and directed towards my school work.  So if anyone is still out there and still reads this blog, please be patient with me.  I want to come back to writing.  I just dont know how or when.