Grief

I wasn’t ready for this trip.
It was unexpected, and I was unprepared.
And now this journey will color the months of my 30^th year
As I navigate how to undo what has been undone.

upset

[ verb, adjective uhp-set; noun uhp-set ]

verb (used without object), up·set, up·set·ting.

to become upset or overturned.

An Offering

O Universe,
Here I am,
To service you and my fellows.
I offer devout service through myself as your instrument.
I open myself to creativity in my life
And surrender my old ideas in return for new.
I trust that you will unfold yourself before me,
That it is safe to walk,
That you will lead me.
I know I am your creation, a conduit for greater creativity.
I ask that you unfold my life accordingly.
Help me believe I am worthy and that it is not too late
That I am not too small or too flawed to be healed
By you and through each other -- and made whole again.
Help us love one another, to nurture each other's unfolding,
To encourage each other's growth,
And understand each other's fears.
Help us to know we are not alone,
That we are loved and lovable.
Help us to create as an act of worship to you.

Ketamine

Waves of saliva race for the shores of my teeth

As my hands turn to spiders and scatter across my keyboard

And my eyes spin like plates when nothing stirs

I am healing as I am disassembled and reassembled