Counterfeit

You can sustain the body
But when the soul flickers
When the soul is homesick for its nest
Away from this sensory coil
Our only consistency here is change and decay
I don't know where to find restoration
When I can't find rest, least of all in sleep where
My past will always find me
The fog and shadows played tricks
And outwitted my better judgment
Somehow I'm left with the counterfeit

Forgetful

I can't stop remembering the time
you told me you wished I could remember
to tell you the things that I forget.

Pioneers

I feel like a tiny spider in an egg sac
And my only objective is to put as much distance
Between me and my cohorts as soon as I am free
To jump, legs splayed and web trailing,
And hope I catch the breeze that will deliver me
And the only place I can imagine finding hope anymore
Is on some cold, rocky planet far, far away from home,
From all that's familiar, from everything I know
To place all my faith in my own biology and sheer chance
To hope that some of us, wherever we may scatter,
Might continue to weave our webs.

A House

I am a house with blue walls and red bulbs
Superannuated, abandoned and in disrepair
Just cinders in a cold hearth
Swallowed by a forest
Seeds nestled in moist pages
Verdant moss recovering life from decay
So much life here but none of it is mine anymore
And I slip quietly beneath the stilts to wander
Through the trees without these dilapidated beams

Charged

You left me to figure out it all 

I was just a kid and I didn't know how to make sense of my body betraying me 

And everyone insisting my sex came with expectations

And that my gender came with consequences

Close your legs. Pull up your shirt. You're going out in that?

You made me feel like my body

Was a crime and I was guilty

So I felt ashamed.

Consent

My first word was No
And ever since they have been
Trying to undo

Dybbuk

Seems like my grief and insecurities
Like to rest in the shadows
And creep out at night like hungry ghosts
I've been feeding them so long
Scraps of me like the sadness when
He chipped me into pieces to feed his own
Or sometimes big chunks of festering anger
For repeated abuses from someone
Who's've gone hungry too long
There are weeks here and there
When mine go hungry too
But then they feed on the ampleness in me
And I am diminished and they, replenished
And I am a hungry ghost too.

Home

She's just a difficult person to be involved with
You open up to her
And she tears the place apart
Hacking at any boundary that stands in her way
She doesn't know what she's looking for
But she'll know it when she finds it
And I'm afraid there'll be nothing left if she ever does

Empty

I woke up that morning
And rolled over onto you
And I remember feeling
Absolutely nothing for you
When three years before
I felt too much and
Could only beg to feel less