Charged

You left me to figure out it all 

I was just a kid and I didn't know how to make sense of my body betraying me 

And everyone insisting my sex came with expectations

And that my gender came with consequences

Close your legs. Pull up your shirt. You're going out in that?

You made me feel like my body

Was a crime and I was guilty

So I felt ashamed.

Alchemy

It's difficult to say
whether I'm dissolving or here to stay
Assessing my own deliquescence
Before a second pubescence
Seems to me more than a little verbose
With this body still so pilose
But I find it impossible to resist
This dichotomy seems always to persist

And I am left here soliciting
Someone without an alchemical conditioning
For permission to transform from dissolute 

To precipitate, and understand I am most resolute,

In this quest I am destined for success

I will transform, my body I will repossess

Transitions: Two Hands

i reek of desperation
that's my prayer
a quiet whisper between two lips
through my skin and two hands pressed
for a life of peace without fear
without pain and without shame
to transition discretely
without unnecessary trauma
i'm so angry all the time now
and i haven't even started
so i ask dear goddex up there
to please help your lost lion
take the thorns from my paws
and lead me home to my pride
because i'm losing it down here
and i want to come home
send me soothing comfort
and your infinite patience
because im drowning in the way i feel

Transitions: Goodbye

I left some part of me
When I stepped off the platform
And disappeared into a subway car
To disembark at some unknown station
And she feels lost to me now
But I don't think I'd want her back
Her long green hair fluttering
And two hissing doors closing
That was the last I saw of her
The last bit of her to see.
Now it's just me.