Hallowed

My friends fill my cup.

I am loved. 

I am sustained. 

I am full like my cup.

I live my life right. 

I walk my life with confidence.

I let love guide me.

I make no missteps.

I am steadied by the love from others.

I cannot be shaken.

I am assured.

I am a goat, sure-footed on rocky terrain.

I know what I want.

I do not settle for less.

I seek equanimity, good judgment and peace.

I do not know turmoil inside myself.

I am whole. 

I can be healed.

I am not so broken that I cannot put myself back together again.

I will not be shattered.

I have sustained myself through darker times again and again. 

I find peace even in turbulent waters.

I am buoyed by the love from others.

I sail through tempestuous waters 

Knowing that the stars above, behind the clouds, guide me and are ever present.

My instruments are accurate, and I am skilled.

Consecrated and uncomplicated,

Holy in the divine,

I love myself. 

Uncertainty

I grow forests of worries saturated by my tears
They bloom anxieties whose fruit
Is always overripe and so often bitter
I chop them down with my ax of reason
Sharpened on the stone rationale and wet with deliberation
Their trunks fall haphazardly tearing at
My faith on the way down, shattering my ease on impact
But no matter how many I burn
To sustain the warmth of self-compassion
There is still a forest of doubt before me.

Grief

I wasn’t ready for this trip.
It was unexpected, and I was unprepared.
And now this journey will color the months of my 30^th year
As I navigate how to undo what has been undone.

upset

[ verb, adjective uhp-set; noun uhp-set ]

verb (used without object), up·set, up·set·ting.

to become upset or overturned.

Ketamine

Waves of saliva race for the shores of my teeth

As my hands turn to spiders and scatter across my keyboard

And my eyes spin like plates when nothing stirs

I am healing as I am disassembled and reassembled

Checkmate

Who's ready to play?
Because God created this game
And I'm here to win
I've got the vision
I see the pieces lining up
I'm about to sink some ships