Perdido

Me hiciste perder el tiempo
También me hiciste mejor 

Pero tengo que despedirme de ti

Letters to an Ex-Lover Anthology: Unavoidable

Be sure that this prayer is inescapable

Understand that you messed with me
It's my turn to mess with you
You cannot avoid my craft

You will sit and listen quietly
You will consider and reflect
You will find strength to hold yourself culpable
You will find fortitude to apologize

Misfortune will forever dog your heels
Maleficence will bend you backwards
Misery will settle on your chest
And Death will always be near

You will not escape adversity
You will not escape tragedy
You will not escape tribulation and disappointment
You messed with a savage

I call on the energies of this earth
Hold him accountable
Teach him guilt and remorse
Bring him shame and dishonor

He shall not escape his crimes

Letters to an Ex-Lover Anthology: Ursinus

When the wounded animal heals
It returns more savage than before
A steadfast refusal to feel
Pain and suffering anymore

And so do I return as a savage
Committed to attacking first
In this round it won't be me who is ravaged
When it was you who inspired this vengeful thirst 
(4/8/2015)

Letters to an Ex-Lover Anthology: Aplomb

I know happiness at last.
I saw misery and left it in the past.
I persevered and found mental health,
Because no one can save you from yourself.





-----------------------------------
Everyday I doubt myself less and love myself more.

Letters to an Ex-Lover: Uber Nacht

I hope you asphyxiate on every lie you ever told.
I hope the weight of your sins smothers you slowly over the years.
I hope the poisonous evil that you spit corrodes your veins and mind
Until all that's left of you is a babbling shell with a blackened soul trapped inside.

Letters to an Ex-Lover Anthology: Unaccompanied

Last night, I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.
The fan sent me sailing in the breeze,
And then the music sent me reeling.
It was the soundtrack you gave me, love's reprise.
Suddenly I couldn't breathe, again I was vulnerable,
A feeling and state I deeply despise.
So I decided that it finally ends tonight.
I promised I'd kill you next time I saw you,
With the weapon kindness, rather than a fight.
Forgiveness wasn't enough, maybe this will be.
So here I lie, with the breeze on my face,
And I'm forgetting all the things you did to me.



How my poetry often starts out (as disjointed, ugly, stupid-sounding notes):
"I was listening to that cd he gave me when we first met."  "Used to be soundtrack of our love."  "I feel vulnerable again and I can't breathe."  "So tonight I'm going to lie down and forget all the things he did to me."  "Kill them all with kindness."

Fiona Apple has been inspiring me.  "Remember when I was so sick and you didn't believe me?  Then you got sick too, and guess who took care of you.  You hated that didn't you?  Didn't you?" from her song Regret.

Sometimes, I feel like I use rhymes as a crutch, because they're so easy to work with.  But there's a romantic element that plays into this.  I want to transform the simple rhyme into something complex and beautiful.  Maybe one day I'll be satisfied that I've accomplished that, but not yet.  Never yet.  Rhymes do so delight me.  I suppose Shel Silverstein was more whimsical with his, but I like to think that maybe we shared a similar fascination.

Also, it's been a very long time since I added to this anthology.  I know it's just personal, but this anthology holds some of my favorite pieces I've ever written.  The first title for this poem was Otolaryngological Fatalities. But it doesn't start with U like the theme of the anthology.  So I changed it, for now...

One last thing, is this the end of the anthology??

Letters to an Ex-Lover Anthology: Unrest

My bed is like a prison
That I drag myself to each night,
Filled with a day's hope
That tonight might be alright.







It's been just over 2 months and almost every single night I wake up dreaming about him. It's so sad.
I dream that we're in a relationship together or just friends but things are never different. Sometimes things are better though, or at least neutral. Which is even more sad. I already know that and don't want anything from him. But my subconscious is bent on making me jaded and negative in my awake moments.

I just wish...that I could sleep without him there for once.

Letters to An Ex-Lover Anthology: Unloved

I hate you for making me believe
___you loved me
When it was so obvious you didn't.
And if that is the way you treat the ones
___you love
I don't want to be loved by
___you.



(underscores are used to preserve the printed form of the poem)

Letters to An Ex-Lover Anthology: Unique Moment

I stopped laughing and rolled over on the bed.
I looked serious, and seriously looked at you.
I said,
"I think I'm falling in love with you."
You said,
"I love you."




my heart just dropped.

Letters to An Ex-Lover Anthology: Unable to Move, Unwilling to Stay

I am tormented by your memory.
It won't leave this place;
Like a ghost, your presence
Is unwelcome quintessence.

I lay my head on my pillow,
your smell, your face, your love, your hate,
I know I cannot escape.
I find it all in my dreamscape.

Please, I beg you, just tonight!
To leave me on my own,
Although I'm scared alone,
I'm more scared that I can't let go.

I hear the door, unlock, squeak and shut.
My heart jumps, Finally, you're home!
But then harsh, unforgiving reality
Mercilessly slams me back to this fatality.

I've only ever wanted you;
I just want YOU!
But you wouldn't give me your key.
You pushed me away, so I had to flee.

Struggling with Eros and Ire,
Who knows who will triumph.
I'm torn and recombinated like DNA
In a laboratory. It was all for you, Ray.

I'll be new, I'll transform.
Yes, we lost who we were.
And no, I'm better off alone.
Now help me. We must bury this bone.

Letters to An Ex-Lover Anthology: Ugly Bare Bones

I bared my soul to you.
I changed myself to fit into your life more easily.
My soul
Bare. Barer than bones.

Letters to An Ex-Lover Anthology: Unrequited

Unconditional love, it's all I can give.
Not once this year, did you think of me.
Reeling from the pain, I still want to give.
Everything you say has become a bold face lie.
Quickly, I packed your things,
Unwilling to suffer for you anymore;
I am not Jesus.
To the fates, I hand you, older and more wicked.
Eventually you will learn and heal.
Do you love you?