On Being Out

Coming out is like
Taking a deep breath after
an exhausting run.

Orator

Maybe if I shout it from the mountains
and everyone hears it all at once,
then I can stop telling my story.

Olive

Everything about love has already been said,
But I'd say it all again.

Flavor

It was something to taste
On my lips, rolling along my tongue,
And dribbling out my mouth:
The phrase "I'm gay."

Uncomplicated

Around her, I become pure, the uncompounded element of myself.
Each day I see her, I cannot fathom
how she has managed to wake up even more
divine, ravishing, breath-taking
than the night before when she rested her head upon my shoulder.
How I love her; it's as if I've never loved before...

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No but for realsies, all this #deathofdoma stuff is really making me miss her.  (She's at a festival currently).  I'm totally deficient in vitamin robynflavin.

Letters to an Ex-Lover Anthology: Aplomb

I know happiness at last.
I saw misery and left it in the past.
I persevered and found mental health,
Because no one can save you from yourself.





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Everyday I doubt myself less and love myself more.

The Nature Of These Things

This is for all the pretty girls I never forgot.
The ones I star in the dreams I concoct.
This is for all my firsts who brought me to constellations
The ones who crumbled my very foundations.
For all those times I cried and pined,
Unable to have what I had found divine.
I write this for my future conquests and endeavors,
The time we will have together, that I will inevitably sever.

It Doesn't Matter That You're Gay

One day, you will die and nothing will ever matter
Not your differences, 
Not your preferences, 
Not your happiness. 
Forget your allies and your enemies. 
Forget your rainbow suspenders, your glitter eyeliner, your chest binder. 
You are not your gender
Not your sexuality
Not your sins
Not your injustices. 
You are not your label. 
You are not your experiences. 
One day, nothing will ever matter.



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Inspired by my brother's poem penned on the inside his medicine cabinet in orange magic marker, apparently inspired by Fight Club.  
NOTE: after some reader's responses, I want to add that, to me, this poem is comforting rather than angsty.  The idea that it wont matter anymore one day, none of it, is so unbelievably peaceful to me.  I hope you find the same comfort one day.  Embrace Inevitability but never rush her.  

Coming Out Haiku

Something to tide my ravenous fans over (oh how I WISH I had ravenous fans).

"I think I am gay."
Dad says, "I think it's a phase."
What do I do now?

For Her

Let's just solve the mystery.
Take a look at all this history.
Please wake me from this silent reverie,
And make it my reality.
Sometimes I find it hard to breathe,
So please just make me feel at ease.
I think we should just relax
And maybe observe the heavenly acts.
Sweet thing, don't clench your fists.
We both know forbidden love exists.
Even though you're mammalian,
You just seem so far out and alien.
The way your hair falls in your face,
All the air leaves my lungs without a trace.

I know you're swimming in the starry sea.

I beg you to just wait for me.

Keats once said, "Ima write that bitch a poem.  Bitches love poems."
Also, this is the 3rd love poem I have ever written.  Feels organic to write it when I'm inspired (after looking at a pretty face for a few hours).  Siiiiigh.

Frustration

Finding out she doesn't like you,
finding out she's into men,
finding out she's into you,
but watching her hang all over him:
That is frustration.

Dominatrices

Oh powerful dom,
She wields her chains and whip.
Behold her beauty!

So I've been obsessing over Gwen Stefani

And I know it's bad. I have a total girl crush on her. Like a giant one. (but every girl has one girl celeb crush right?...so maybe I have more than one. Just be quiet! I'm trying to tell you something!) *I'm so ADHD right now. I just woke up. You'll have to excuse me.* Anyway, so I've been watching old music videos and admiring how beautiful she's gotten as she's aged. I don't know how she does it. She looked absolutely radiant when she was pregnant and usually you see a little wear on a woman. Or at least to me, she doesn't look sexy. But Gwen fucking pulled it off. She looked like a goddess or the Virgin or some shit. God she looks like an iconic figure. You could dress her up as the Virgin of Guadeloupe and there'd be worshipers. But yeah, she looked fine in the 90s but she's just wonderful now. She looks like the "right" Marilyn Monroe. You have to admit Monroe was pretty but there was little something off with her. Gwen Stefani-Rossdale is perfect. And she has that beautiful Italian mouth. I love her smile.
Now, let me talk about her voice. she has absolute control over. She can sing virtually any style but I know she likes ska and pop. It sounds like a bird. She can growl. She can put all her emotions into her song and then into you. It's like opening a little bottle of (isn't emotion of any of her songs). Let's take 4 In The Morning. That's like opening a bottle of ouch. End It On This is bittersweet in every sense. I have to admit, the members of no Doubt were pretty phenomenal to bring it all together. I think I like No Doubt better than Gwen Stefani's own albums but that's just because of the style and my personal preference.
She's so versatile. Now that I think about it, she's incredibly classy too.
Yay Gwen Stefani, wife, mommy, singer, designer, absolutely successful woman!

I'm going to try to let go soon. I keep saying that. Let me just look one more time. Let me hear one more song. Just a little bit more, it feels kind of good... But it's just an obsession and it needs to end someday....:/