Arroyo

Your love is a dry arroyo that for years sustained me 

And quenched my parched heart with your flashflood adoration

But now crumbles under the footsteps of my words

Greedy for traces of you.

Grief

I wasn’t ready for this trip.
It was unexpected, and I was unprepared.
And now this journey will color the months of my 30^th year
As I navigate how to undo what has been undone.

upset

[ verb, adjective uhp-set; noun uhp-set ]

verb (used without object), up·set, up·set·ting.

to become upset or overturned.

An Offering

O Universe,
Here I am,
To service you and my fellows.
I offer devout service through myself as your instrument.
I open myself to creativity in my life
And surrender my old ideas in return for new.
I trust that you will unfold yourself before me,
That it is safe to walk,
That you will lead me.
I know I am your creation, a conduit for greater creativity.
I ask that you unfold my life accordingly.
Help me believe I am worthy and that it is not too late
That I am not too small or too flawed to be healed
By you and through each other -- and made whole again.
Help us love one another, to nurture each other's unfolding,
To encourage each other's growth,
And understand each other's fears.
Help us to know we are not alone,
That we are loved and lovable.
Help us to create as an act of worship to you.

Ketamine

Waves of saliva race for the shores of my teeth

As my hands turn to spiders and scatter across my keyboard

And my eyes spin like plates when nothing stirs

I am healing as I am disassembled and reassembled

Pangaea

The people I've loved the most
Have turned me into the vastest ocean
And the ache seeps through my teeth
And numbs my lips and fingertips
Now all I have left is to take when I'm denied
So I drown those who can't give me what I need

Call Me Frank

You burnt the mercy out of me
With your poisonous energy
And for years you haunted me
Hunting me in the night like an enemy
But now I've died and risen, I'm a zombie.

Life with you was absolute mayhem
And I'd kill you before I'd do it again
You always acted like you had some plan
Until I had the bright idea to time your attention span
And I realized I had to become a self-made man

Checkmate

Who's ready to play?
Because God created this game
And I'm here to win
I've got the vision
I see the pieces lining up
I'm about to sink some ships

Idolatry

I'm not sure if I was almost ready to forgive you,
or if I had just begun to fall back in love
with a facsimile of you I could only meet at night.
But I woke up angry just like every other time.
I would still kill you if I had the chance.