Monstre

Raise your hand if you've got depression
And the meds aren't cutting it
So you've gotta cut yourself instead
Remember when you asked for creativity?
Beggars can't be choosers
So now you're your own worst enemy
Your most creative saboteur
Make yourself paranoid about good days
How long will they last and are they real?
Celebrate for just a moment
And berate yourself for eternity
When you inevitably fall again
Remind yourself of all your failures
And suggest to try again is hubris
I have become a master in self-deception
What do I want and who am I?
Unquestioned laws of self are suddenly
Up for debate like it's an election year
Trying to ruin my own life
For petty reasons like uncertainty
How do you evict a part of yourself
When you don't even know who you are
Has the monster inside become the majority?